FEATURING THE RANTINGS AND RAVINGS OF THE MISGUIDED CURMUDGEON,
COMIC BOOK AUTHORITARIAN AND PSYCHO-ANALYZER DR. WERTHAM P. FREDRICS

Friday, April 11, 2014

And you thought Batman and Robin were kinky

From CAPTAIN AMERICA #2


Jah, und you all thought zat ze Batman und ze Robin vere ze kinky ones!
Here ve see ze schmutty antics of ze Captain America und Bucky, engaging in activities including ze Cosplay, ze crossdressing, und ze child molestation! Yeechh! Get your cotton pickin' mitts offen der child, Captain! Poor Bucky has become ze warped puppet for ze schtrong und domineering gender-confused Schteve Rogers, who has taken ze liberties mit der little child, making him ze accomplice in ze filthy, schmutty, naughty business!  Comics is indeed schmut!

Sunday, April 6, 2014

In Dr. Wertam P. Fredrics perfect world

From MYSTICAL TALES #1


Aaah!
Zometimes, I find ze comic zat chust makes my little heart
  zing mit joy!
Here ve have ze example of vhat life might look like in 
Dr. Wertham P. Fredrics perfect vorld!  
Yes, a vorld vhere I can make ALL ze Naughty Schmutty Dirty parts Disappear --
mit chust saying ze Magic Vords!
Vhat is ze Magic Vords?

"COMICS IS SCHMUT!"

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Time to change underwear...times two

From JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #41


Here ve have ze rare but schmutty medical phenomenon
 known as S.S.E. --
ze Simultaneous Spontaneous Ejaculation!
Notice ze looks of suprise mingled mit  ze shame und disgust, 
as each of zese naughty fellows realizes zey have to go 
und change zere underwear!
Yes, S.S.E. is rare but becoming more und more common, due to the increasing practice of reading ze comic books! Zat is chust ONE of Many side effects! Jah! 
Now you know reading comics vill leave a Stain!
 Yiiuuck! Naughty Schmut!

Friday, April 4, 2014

When is a cannon not a cannon?

From ADVENTURE COMICS #420

Vhen is a cannon Not a cannon?
Vhen it's a PENIS!
Yeesh! 
I don't know vhy Schupergirl has got her Hotpants in a bunch,
but she seems a bit angry as she throws a gigantic Phallic Symbol 
complete mit der Teschticles schtraight at ze comicky book reader!
Maybe she's mad because ze freshly fired cannon just blew a load of cannon balls into her Face!
Zat can upset some womens vhen zey aren't expecting it!
Chust ask Mrs. Fredrics...Er, I mean, SCHMUT!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Sometimes best friends need to respect boundaries

From PICTURE PARADE #1


Vell, Tsk tsk! 
You know, ze Child Porn in comics is bad, 
und ze Bestiality in comics is really bad, 
but here ve have ze Child Bestiality! Yiick!! 
Little Johnny und ze sexy schpot think zey have found ze quiet secluded place to satisfy their naughty urges for each other...
I realize it must get lonely in ze desert, but Puh-Leaze! It is no vonder zey are zo turned on, being surrounded by ze dirty, naughty Phallus-Shaped Cactuses-es! Eeew! Comics is Filthy SCHMUT!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Compensating for low self esteem

From OUT OF THE NIGHT # 5


Whether it's a business man, a construction vorker, a banker, or a baseball player, men is alvays exaggerating  about ze size of zere manhoods!  Zat, unfortunately, alzo applies to ze Undead! Anyzing to make zemselves feel more important zan zey really are! Please! Who are you trying to fool, us, or yourself?! 
Yeesh! Creepy Schmut!