Sometimes best friends need to respect boundaries

From PICTURE PARADE #1

Vell, Tsk tsk! 

You know, ze Child Porn in comics is bad, 

und ze Bestiality in comics is really bad, 

but here ve have ze Child Bestiality! Yiick!! 

Little Johnny und ze sexy schpot think zey have found ze quiet secluded place to satisfy their naughty urges for each other...

I realize it must get lonely in ze desert, but Puh-Leaze! It is no vonder zey are zo turned on, being surrounded by ze dirty, naughty Phallus-Shaped Cactuses-es! Eeew! Comics is Filthy SCHMUT!!

What's long and hard

From SUBMARINER #1

Tsk tsk! Here ve have ze young boy und an adult male, in zis case, a Pedophiliac Schubmariner! Little boy, schtop playing mit der Manholes! Nein! Zey are NOT for messing vith! Didn't you hear ze old adage, "Curiosity got ze boy schtupped"?! Ach! At ze very least, it looks like you are going to get Spanked! Now, ve see  zis curious boy enters ze manhole (Yeesh!) und schtands in front of der Schubmariner, pointing at his manhood, saying, "I came down to see what one of these things was like!" Yeesh! It's like yours, only bigger und hairier! Now run away home! Didn't you ever hear ze other old adage, "Vhat's long, und hard, und filled mit seamen? Jah, ze Schubmariner!" SCHMUT!!

Please just make it a quickie

From HIT Comics # 24

Ach Du Lieber!  Vhat in der vorld is going on here? Schtop mit der pumping, already! Too many comics have ze grown man MOUNTED over ze young boy, like zis, und pressing, pressing, Ach, zuch close PRESSING! Nuttin' good can come from zis, I'm telling you! Zat is NOT real C.P.R.!  No, zis type of C.P.R. schtands for "Comics Penis Rubbing"! Yeesh! Und if you think zis is schmutty, be glad I didn't show you ze next scene vhen he tries to dislodge ze object from his throat! HooBoy! SCHMUT!!